


Jean's Jeans

by OhHelloFandoms123



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse - mentioned, Angst, Denial, Do You Believe In Life After Love?, Fluff, Grief, Growing after grief, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internal homophobia, Logan is a confused Bisexual, M/M, Major Slow Burn, Major character death - Freeform, Modern AU, Pain, Slow Burn, Victor is a mean brother, and they were ROOMMATES, drug mention, drug usage, flasbacks, other x-men are mentioned too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28544040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhHelloFandoms123/pseuds/OhHelloFandoms123
Summary: After high school - now they're adults. Living together as roommates, was something unexpected. There’s something unbearable about it, especially the unresolved tension with Scott and Logan. Will they be able to overcome one of the biggest problems? (Death, its death).
Relationships: Jean Grey/Scott Summers - side relationship, Logan (X-Men)/Scott Summers, Logan Howlett/Scott Summers, Wolverine/Cyclops
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	1. Roommates

Being roommates were hard, it was even harder - considering the near future(and the past). Living in a country home with your crush’s boyfriend wasn’t ideal - at least for Logan. Jean, Scott and Logan all live together - not in harmony - but a symphony of crashing plates and slamming doors. 

Logan and Scott tried to get along but Logan was being a stupid household fly that wouldn’t know when to quit. It was a summer evening when _it_ started. The tension, the lies, everything…“You still believe in those stupid stories Summers?” Logan said, lying on the carpet floor, smoking a cigarette. 

The smoke filled the room with ease, slipping its way through the cracks in the floorboard - and into Scott’s nose. His friend slammed the book shut, rushing to open a window.

“What did Jean say about smoking indoors?” He said sternly.

“Ah,” he chuckled, sitting up to face his younger friend “Jeannie ain’t here, so no stress.” 

“ _I’m here,_” Scott said with a little sting. It was all about Jean around this household. She was a muse - their muse. She was an angel and they were constantly fighting over her like she was a prize. 

“You ain’t no Jeannie,” he let the cigarette hang in his mouth for a while before approaching him “what you readin’ anyway?”

Sometimes Logan was scary to him. Even though he was much taller than him. 

“A novel.” He replied simply. Scott’s room was neater than Logan’s and it smelled nice - It smelled like Jean. Everything just reminded Logan of Jean - maybe that’s why he doesn’t like hanging around Scott, he just doesn’t like him. He hates how pretty his eyes look and how stupidly cute he looks when he smiles. Logan chuckled at the young man’s infatuation with books. It was something he didn’t understand. He was _wonderful_ , too wonderful that his mind was confused. 

He was one of the kindest people he’s ever met. Which confused him even more - they had a lot in common, no parents, being an outcast - and liking Jean Grey.

“Why are you kind to me?” He asked, sitting next to him on the bed. The question caught Scott off guard, he looked at Logan.

“You’re my friend,” he replied as if it was the obvious answer. 

“I was such a… _mean_ person to you – how could you have possibly–” 

Scott sighed “that was the past, Logan, that was High School. We’re fully grown adults now,” Logan paused and remembered what happened that day – he felt terrible; the guilt still lingers - not only that but the feeling, the feeling of _holding_ Scott under the soft bedsheets and the smell of freshly baked bread - he missed that. He missed being felt _loved_.

SEVERAL YEARS AGO:

_“You’re full of shit,” Logan spat at Scott, his urge to punch him has never been stronger. Scott backed against the wall, slightly afraid._

_“I didn’t mean to!” Scott protested, struggling to find the words. He really didn’t mean to stumble on the teenager kissing some lady older than him in the park. “I won’t tell anyone!” He stammered “Logan, we’re friends–” The older boy ignored him. They weren’t just friends - he knows it. They were more than friends once._

_But Lord knew that Logan missed the taste of his lips, the feeling of his hugs. He had to break it off - or else his brother would kill him. Literally. Scott and Logan broke up months ago - it was a ‘fling’ as they described it._

_“Then how come half of our school knows?” He grunted “it’s legal! I’m eighteen, I’m allowed to doin’ whatever the hell I want!” His breath smelled of smoke and it was entrancing – for some reason Scott couldn’t take his eyes away from him. All he could think about was that day, that one minute of just…He blinked and looked up at him._

_“No, Logan,” he said, regaining confidence, “I know the reason why you’re going around kissing women.”_

_Logan punched the wall, rage surging through his body “SHUT UP!” He snapped._

_“You shouldn’t let your brother control you–”_

_“Victor’s not my brother, never has, never will be!” He shouted, hitting Scott across the face, making him fall into the ground. Head first into the ground. Logan had this urge to punch something again, Scott got sent to hospital - they didn’t speak much after that incident._

_After that, it was just glares and sneering from then on. Scott was a forgiving person - Logan knew that. Everyone knew that. The little ‘fling’ they had felt like fire, a fire that had died out since that incident in the hallway._

END OF FLASHBACK

Logan rubbed his hands together, even though the room was warm. “I’m sorry. For treating you so badly,” Logan apologised. Scott knew it was sincere because of the look in his eyes. There was no reply, Scott didn’t know what to say to that. “Well some things haven’t changed,” he finally spoke, “you still smoke.” _You still look fine as hell,_ He didn’t say. Scott’s phone buzzed. 

JEAN: On my way soon! x

“Jean’s on her way,” Scott said, putting the phone down. 

Logan laid down on his bed, it was soft and the quilt was coloured blue - bookshelves were arranged perfectly and he looked at the ceiling, not a spot of anything to be found. Another puff of smoke escaped from his mouth, “how do you keep things so neat, Slim?” He asked to Scott’s back. 

“I suppose your room looks like…shit?” Scott chuckled.

Logan laughed, “sadly, yeah,” 

He got up from the bed, approaching Logan’s room down the hall, Logan sprung up, as if it was instinct. He opened the door to Logan’s room, there were clothes everywhere, it heavily smelled of smoke and there was an ashtray next to the bed - the bed was wrinkled from all the nightmares he’d had - and the bookshelf was slanted. “We need to get you an anger management class,” Scott mumbled. Logan went down the hall, he peered behind Scott’s shoulder.

“Ain’t so bad,” he said with a coy smile. His friend rolled his eyes and pointed to the mess. “ _Logan_.” Scott said firmly “this is our house, you better look after it. It’s a team effort.” 

They heard jingling of keys and a fumble of a door - Jean had arrived home. She was beautiful, her long red hair - and her smile, not to mention her intelligence… “Welcome home,” Scott said as she put her items on the table. He kissed her lovingly, Logan always felt like a third wheel - another reason to hate Scott. 

He always wondered what it was like to be kissed by Jean, whether it felt just as warm as the summer sky. Sometimes he does feel excluded in this place…it wasn’t entirely home. Not like back in Canada. It was nice enough for them to let them stay in his home while his brother has gone into rehab.

Jean was wearing dark blue jeans, she always had multiple pairs of them. They don’t know why maybe it was a 'girl thing’. She always looked good in everything - Logan respected their relationship, which is why he never intruded and try to be with Scott or Jean. He just loved them both so much. 

They were good friends. They supported each other, like that time when Jean’s parents got divorced, Scott’s brother, Alex had recently gone to jail - and Logan, they provided him with a home - literally. By letting him stay here - as roommates. 

“Hey Logan,” Jean smiled. There was something about her that he really loved - then he turned to see Scott’s face…The way the two of them connect and be together - he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Hey,” was all he could say. “You have fun?”

“Yes,” she smiled, setting down her things and taking off her shoes “it was lovely. Ororo made the _best muffins -_ not to mention, I bumped into Xavier there!” Xavier was their old college teacher, at the school for the gifted. Jean is a doctor, in a hospital and Scott fixes cars and engines for a living. Logan, however, is still looking for a job. He doesn’t want to be a hopeless case like Victor said he would. He’s applied to multiple jobs and many have denied, he’s been fired multiple times, too.

“Scott, can you turn on the stove for me, boil some water?” She asked sweetly. Scott walked over to the kitchen, Logan started helping to get out ingredients from the fridge. Scott and Logan have become experts in making pasta - nothing else _but pasta._ The soup was something that Scott was good at too. Logan was always confused about how to make soup, so many steps and ingredients - the pasta was simple. Jean went upstairs, Logan noticed Scott’s eyes follow her as she did so. They heard the shower turn on.

“So uh,” Logan began, setting out bowls and forks on the table “how are you and Jean doin’?” 

“Fine,” Scott replied, “hey Logan…I think…it’s time we find you a girlfriend.” The real reason why is because he, too, was pressing down his feelings. 

“Why?” Logan asked, almost offended. He tried to find the words to reply to the question - he didn’t want to offend him.

“I see your expression whenever Jean and I do couple stuff, I think we should try something. That way you’re not so…lonely.” 

He scoffed, “I’m not lonely, Slim.” He was. He felt like he was being ignored - or felt like he was not getting his feelings right. There was something he couldn’t pinpoint - it was the feeling, the image of being with Scott _or Jean._ It was the feeling of being loved that felt alien and unheard of. “That’s a lie,” Scott said - he knows him a little too well. 

They both knew there was tension in the air. Jean meant everything to both of them. The next day was different, it was Logan’s turn to get the groceries. He pushed he shopping trolley along, checking the list every now and then, making sure it’s correct. So far there have been two boxes of cereal, more soup, some hygiene products…He walked past a happy couple, so in love, it almost made him sick. He doesn’t know the feeling of being held like that. Maybe one day he will.

He walked past a bunch of flowers, the paused - Scott’s favourite. Jean’s favourite. Roses and Lillies. They both confused him, a lot. 

HIGH SCHOOL | YEARS AGO 

_It was Valentines Day. The red hearts and perfume was intoxicating - people walking hand-in-hand in the hallways…“Stupid, isn’t it?” Victor chuckled, ripping up a card someone gave him._

_“Vic, someone gave you that card,” Logan folded his arms “who’s it from?”_

_“No idea,” he chucked it in the bin. Scott and Jean walked past, holding hands, smiling, laughing - they were mesmerising. He just wants to be held like that, loved like that – Victor was also very stubborn about his feelings. “Why you always staring at ‘em?” Victor asked with a teasing smile “you jealous or something? Anyone would kill to be with Jean, she’s smoking.”_

_Logan chuckled nervously, the feeling of Scott’s smile still lingered on his lips, which he now replaced with cigarettes. “Yeah. Of course.”_

END OF FLASHBACK

Once Logan arrived home, he saw Scott washing the dishes. “I think you’re right,” Logan told him “I am lonely.” he reached for another cigarette in his pocket, taking in the substance and enjoying the feeling of freeing his pain. Scott was stunned to hear the news. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, hoping Logan wasn’t being pressured by his brother again, let alone his low self-esteem. He knows Logan, he knows that he doesn’t like being pushed around like a soccer ball. He knows that Logan likes alcohol over coffee. He just wants someone to treat him well because he didn’t all those years ago. 

“Yes, Slim, I’m one-hundred percent,” he replied. They’re all around in their 20s now, you’d think Logan and Scott would stop bickering like children. “You’re smoking again,” Jean called from the other room.

“Yes,” Logan confirmed. You could hear Jean laugh from the other side of the room.

“Logan,” she smiled, leaning on the couch “I know a couple of women out there that would love to be with you!” It was a flattering thought, to think that so many women are into you - but the people that you’re into don’t feel the same. It was a yearning…But so out of reach. _Great._ Logan thought - maybe he was pushing himself into this…He just felt really guilty for liking both of them - Scott and Jean. Sometimes being roommates were fun.

Like movie night, the smell of buttery popcorn and the look of both of their smiles – Logan was glad to have met them. He sighed, looking up at Jean. 

“So, when do we start?” 


	2. Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is being set up with a date, as Jean gets into some major trouble.

Going out to a bar wasn’t something that Logan expected. “Jeannie, you know I love a good drink but…” She nudged him by the elbow. 

“But what? What’s stopping you?” She teased. 

_Something. Something is always stopping me._ It was Logan’s fear of getting closer with people, opening up - he wasn’t the best at that.

**3 YEARS AGO**

**__** _Victor was an ass, he was always stopping Logan from doing something. Especially talking to Scott. “He may be a pretty boy,” he told Logan in a hushed whisper in the library “but he’s taken, you know that. You scared ‘em away back in high school. He wouldn’t date you. You’re like…a feral animal.” Logan was confused, why was his brother saying this to him? - Of course, he never liked Vic as a brother but had no choice but to drag him along like a puppet, to make him feel included - which is weird._

_Victor wasn’t the only thing stopping him from going after relationships and chances…It was his own fear, trauma…After losing their parents in the war, he didn’t know how to live with himself. Lord, it was unbearable - to see his dreams crushed before his eyes. When the people weren’t looking and when his stupid brother wasn’t home, he’d smoke a cigarette and paint. He wasn’t the best at it, it was therapeutic and calming for his anger. Nothing stopped him from painting._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Jean pulled him along through the messy crowd of drunk dancing people. She then pulled him to a private room where one of her friends, Ororo was waiting for them. She was indeed, very beautiful like Jean described. Her friend groaned, “you brought _him along?_ ” She drummed her fingers on the table. Logan and Ororo briefly met, he was very angry at the moment and swore at her. Logan’s cigarette smell filled the room. It was hard enough to pick a decent outfit. Scott said that all he does is grunt and run - which is partly true. He did run a lot when he was younger. Logan and Scott did a lot of underage drinking when they were younger. They’d go out and drink like crazy, give each other sloppy kisses that felt like fire. 

“Sorry about last time,” he apologised. “I didn’t mean it,”

“I know,” she retorted, folding her arms “which is why it makes you look like an idiot.” He chuckled at her witty reply. He was always amazed at women, their intelligence and knowledge… Soon the waiter came over and addressed them. Logan ordered a beer, it was the bitter taste that soothed his insides - he thinks. “So I heard you used to be a lumberjack,” Ororo said, holding her warm cup of tea. He nodded “yeah, wasn’t the best job for me to be honest – I’ve been unemployed for a while. Uh - what about you?”

It was awkward for Jean to be sitting there, watching them interact. “I’m a meteorologist.” She explained with a smile, it wasn’t the best thing to say out loud. She really did enjoy her job but it did get boring sometimes. Jean ordered a few many alcoholic drinks, most likely enjoying the show. 

“Ah,” was all Logan could say. How do you respond to someone who reports the weather every day? The next hour was very nice, it was filled with laughter and funny stories - of course, Jean was still there but it was fun. Logan noticed it wasn’t a romantic connection, but platonic. Jean said that all romances don’t start with a romantic connection straight away. Ororo was very nice and listened to his stories about his brother and the war… Once they got back home, they found Scott cleaning up the living room. “Found what you were looking for Logan?” He asked with a smile. 

“Sort of,” he replied, shuffling his feet and looking at the ground. 

The two of them are currently outside, doing the garden. The sun was bright and the air was clean…Logan always wondered what would happen if he were to take Scott and Jean on a trip to Canada. “She was nice,” Logan explained “but…”

“But what?” He asked, confused about why his friend was so picky about choosing someone. Anyone would be lucky to have Logan. When they were in high school, he wanted to kiss Logan so bad - he wanted to kiss him until he turns a pretty pink. “But…I don’t think I _deserve_ it,” he sighed, pulling out more weeds. His friend paused - why would he ever think that? Logan was an already confusing person. Scott doesn’t understand why he doesn’t like his book collections maybe because he was taller…He just wants to get to know him better. Logan’s smoke tangled the air. 

“You do Logan,” Scott reassured, “especially after all you’ve been through.” 

“You have no idea what I’ve been through.” He replied sharply. He paused, thinking about what he was saying and who he was saying it to. “Sorry,” he apologised “I’m not…the best at…”

“I know,” he smiled “it’s okay Logan, I understand.” No matter how much Logan confused Scott, whether emotionally or physically – he would always be there for him. He was always too scared to say it. When they were younger, they would just do so much stupid shit and get away with it - they would be happy. Now, they’re adults and something was in the way between them. Like a wall. 

Meanwhile, Jean was inside, having a headache… she had trouble breathing - her lungs hurt. As much as she doesn’t allow Logan to smoke - she snuck out one too many times to have a few herself. After what happened to her parents a couple of months ago - the stress has been a lot. That night she didn’t talk to Scott that much, only gave him a single kiss on the cheek and went to bed. The next few nights were weird, Jean would return home late, drunk or in a mess. 

Scott was concerned. It was a Thursday night, she would be home by now. It’s 11.00 pm, a thunderstorm could be heard - the thunder booming and cracking in the dark thick clouds. “Where can she be, Logan?” He asked. He rubbed his hands together nervously. Logan was on the lounge, smoking - again - this time Scott didn’t tell him off. He was too worried about Jean. He was deciding whether or not to call the police or…He frowned. Something didn’t add up. Jean has been acting strange, distant. 

“I know that face,” Logan said, putting the cigarette on the ashtray, “I’ve seen it before. You always were a big worry wuss.” Scott’s cheeks heated up at the nickname. 

**4 YEARS AGO**

**__** _Scott was worried, especially about tonight. He was pacing back and forth in the art room. Logan was painting, again. “Don’t be so worried, Jeannie loves ya.” He assured him. Jeannie loves ya. He’s almost disgusted at himself for saying that - Scott doesn’t like him anymore. “I know,” Scott sighed, holding the bouquet of flowers “it’s just that - we’ve been together for so long…I just feel so many - butterflies around her.” The smile that appeared on Scott’s face was a treasure._

_“Cute,” was the blunt reply “seriously though, Slim, don’t be so caught up on this stuff. Go up and ask her to the dance.”_

_“You’re right Logan, I should.”_

**END OF FLASHBACK**

He sighed and grabbed his keys from the counter “c’mon, let’s go looking for her.” They went outside, the bitter winds brushed against their skins. It howled as the rain pattered down. They ran towards the car in the driveway. They opened the door, Logan in the driver’s seat. His friend chuckled, he still had the same car from high school.

“Remember back in High School, you would steal my motorbike?”

“Yeah,” he smiled “but who gave you it?”

They drove around town first, almost everything was closed - apart from this blaring noisy bar down the street. It had flashing bright lights and pumping music. They stepped out, the rain was pounding and their jackets were soaked. They walked up, the security guard asked for ID, they showed their driver’s licence and went in. People smashed glasses of alcohol as people screamed along to the music. Scott covered his ears, holding onto Logan’s arm, trying not to lose each other in the sweaty crowd.

Jean was there, lying against a leather couch. Her words were slurring and she was having trouble breathing. No one else was with her. “Jean!” Scott called, running towards her. He cupped her face, she was almost blacked out “Jesus…how much did you drink?” He mumbled, carrying her bridal style.

“Scott,” she groaned, she started coughing…then they saw the ashtray piled with cigarettes. Scott looked at Logan, concerned. He frowned, not sure whether to be angry at Logan - maybe it was his influence, maybe that wasn’t hers - but he could smell the smoke tangling through the room filled with drunk idiots. 

“We’re going home, Logan start the car.” He insisted strongly. Jean was mumbling some sort of nonsense that they didn’t understand. 

“You always think you can solve yer own problems.” He muttered. He spoke up louder, “Jeannie needs a doctor - not some two men who barely know how to function.” He was slightly offended, he knows very well how to ‘function’. 

“We need to go _home_ –” he insisted strongly. All he wanted to do was to get answers…to know why Jean was so distant. He just wanted to keep her safe. 

“No,” Logan snapped back “it’s the logical thing to do. She needs a doctor. No aspirin is going to fix _that._ ” Scott looked at his girlfriend’s condition, there were small droplets of blood on her pretty-blue jeans. Her red hair was tangled, messy and she didn’t stop coughing. Scott sighed, “fine, let’s go to the hospital.” Jean threw up twice on the side of the road before entering the car. It took a while for Jean to get on her seatbelt. They drove through the heavy winds. The rain was louder than ever, they could barely hear themselves talk. 

“S-Scott,” Jean slurred from the back of the car.

“Yes, love?” He replied.

“Where are we…we go…going?” She hiccuped. 

“The hospital,” Logan replied, turning a corner. The song _Gloria_ was blasting on the radio. “Why the hell is a radio working at midnight?” He grunted. Scott was tapping nervously as Jean was passed out in the back. The shorter man turned to him, then back to the road. He wanted to hold his hand, assure Jean _and Scott_ that everything will be okay. It was a long drive the hospital - Logan was very tired, he could barely keep his eyes open.

“I can drive if you want,” Scott said.

“No thanks -” Logan sighed and looked at the time. 1.00 am. “You’re right, we should’ve gone home…” he mumbled. 

“No, you were right. It’s okay, I’ll drive.” the storm was still pattering on their car, the thunder still roaring into the night. Logan parked somewhere as they switched seats, Scott now taking the wheel. After seeing nothing but blurred lights in the dark, they arrived. It was tiring to get Jean out of the car, they both felt dizzy after taking the elevator. They walked up to the reception, filling out a form. “Jeannie, how long as this cough been goin’ on for?” Logan asked tiredly.

She didn’t respond, she passed out on Scott’s shoulder. “I’ll write it,” Scott offered “go get a coffee or something. You need it. Thank you, Logan.” He almost wanted to refuse, but he really did need something to drink. He grabbed a coffee and returned to the waiting area. Scott was pacing up and down. Jean was gone, in a medical bed - being pushed off to a private room. 

“She okay?” He asked, finishing the last few drops of his coffee. He feels much more awake. But he knows Scott is tired.

“Yeah,” he said, finally sitting down. “Doctor said she has alcohol poisoning and a cough.” 

“Shit,” he said, running a hand through his hair. He sat next to him. There was a pause. Scott was staring at the floor. “You’re gonna stay here, aren’t ya?”

Scott nodded, “can’t leave her alone.” _Not like how I left you alone._

“Well, I can’t leave you alone either.” He replied with a smile. He took Scott’s hand, knowing how much he needs comfort. They wait patiently and anxiously for the results. They were glad to have each other at this moment. Logan’s hands felt warm, comforting…Scott smiled at the touch, the words - Logan was a good person. Some people fail to see that. “Hey,” he said softly “I saw some Lillies downstairs, wanna get some for her?”

“It’s okay,” Scott gave him a small smile. He thought about how Logan’s smoke intoxicated him, entangled his thoughts at night and how it might have entangled Jean’s… “you’ve done enough.” He couldn’t help but find the bitterness between his words. Like it was an obvious sign, meant for him. Logan removed his hand and shook the thought away. He was tired, just tired. That was all. He also couldn’t help but find Scott looking pretty - looking _wonderful_ \- he wanted to slap himself in the face. _Stop, it, you’re tired. You both are._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave feedback! It would mean a lot to me!

**Author's Note:**

> Songs:   
> Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey  
> True Love - P!nk  
> Saviour - Beth Crowley  
> I Am Not Nothing - Beth Crowley  
> Grow As We Go - Ben Platt
> 
> Feedback is highly appreciated! If you liked it, let me know!


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